Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
