guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
