I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
