boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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