At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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