did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
thus making me awesome and them whores
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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