I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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