He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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