I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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