Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
