At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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