I hope mine doesn't look like that
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
