Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
