Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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