He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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