Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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