I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
