am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
ttyl tear gas
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
