You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
