dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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