So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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