The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
