she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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