i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
