im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
