True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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