I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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