I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
