:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
