If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I need moral support for this bender
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
