My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
