We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
