we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
bring money and cleavage
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
