I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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