I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
no you cant smoke seaweed
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
