I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Do you still have your period?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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