Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
