Don't you send me to vm
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
