wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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