I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
