also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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