This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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