apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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