Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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