Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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