Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
