Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If I had your ass I would rule the world
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
