Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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