Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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