Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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