I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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