Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Randomize
