census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
