i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
