talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
