everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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