Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
