lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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