i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
